Sample Online Dating Email Messages

Lately I have been getting really good at having great flirty conversations on PlentyofFish. I've found that the most successful email message exchanges, regardless if I initiate contact with the girl or she does, is all about banter.

What do I mean by "banter?" Well to put it simply, it's a kind of humorous, playful, seemingly spontaneous conversation in which both parties are in good spirits. It is also kind of like teasing in a sense, you know, like when you were a little kid on the playground and that girl or boy would punch you in the arm for no reason, it's because he/she really had a crush.

I'd like to share one sample conversational email thread with a cute girl who had actually contacted me, asking a simple question about my dating profile, which is filled with interesting conversation bait as any good online dating profile should. The names and certain details have been changed to protect the innocent and not so innocent (I'll let you decide who's who:-). Also, I will be adding my own commentary afterward in the blue writing to explain what is going on in my diabolical mind. .Email Message #1: From Jane

I'm curious how your marathon went. Did you find minimal padding was ideal or were you aching afterward?
You seem very unique, and interesting.

~Jane

Now right off the bat, I have a cute girl contacting me all because I put in a ton of effort into my dating profile. There's all sorts of interesting stuff that I've written and re-written, one of which is about my running/marathon hobby that baits her into sending me the first email message. Also note that she calls me "unique" and "interesting" so you know that I've got her attention, which makes the whole process a heck of a lot easier.

Email Message #2: From Me

Hi Jane,

The marathon went well and though I was sore afterward, the recover was shorter than usual. I do believe that minimalist shoes allow your feet to move more naturally and is beneficial to creating a more efficient foot strike. I've done a lot research and self experimentation in this area; it's pretty interesting stuff. Are you a runner?

Also, I've been trying to figure out what the heck that costume is in the third picture of your profile... lion king outfit??? :)

-Matthew

Ok, there are two parts to this and both are pretty important. Most guys royally screw up here by either saying something sexually offensive or spilling their guts with a boring ass life story, possibly professing their love for this girl that they haven't even met.

First thing I did was to answer her question briefly but also in a way that shows I know a lot about my hobby, running, without being arrogant. Second thing I did was to make sure I ask her a question or two. This step is important because it allows her to easily continue the conversation and keeps things moving. Also, if you ask her a specific question about her profile, it shows that you actually read it and paid attention to something other than her boobs!

Email Message #3: From Jane

Amazing, but I suppose it shouldn't be so surprising. In high school I was forced to be a runner, and sort of continued after but to a much lesser degree.

I have nooo idea what it is, it has horns so maybe a mountain goat of sorts? I was in charge of organizing an attic full of costumes that the high school drama club and the local community theater uses and...that happened :-P.

~Jane

Ok good, she took the bait from the last email message and responds with some more interesting things about herself, yet still she doesn't do much to keep the conversation rolling, so in my next email I'll have to get more creative.

Email Message #4: From Me

Ha ha, well, whatever it is it's funny. You seem like you might be prone to getting into mischief... like the kind of girl who'd explore their parents' forbidden attic or that old creepy abandoned house down the street.

Pop quiz, where would you rather go exploring: a distant mountain range, a tropical paradise, a vast wilderness or the urban jungle of a foreign city?

Extra points for being creative:)

This is where I drop the bomb and go all in. This is what I like to call a qualifying email message. The reason it's called a qualifying message is because it's designed to elicit an answer that will allow me to either filter her out as a girl that is not my type or gives her a chance to show me that she is my type. Note that this is designed for me personally and would be different for other people based on whatever their preference in dating type.

Email Message #5: From Jane

A little trouble is good for the soul. I love abandoned houses, I just try to avoid the illegal actions (breaking and entering and such).


I love mountains, last month we went to trail days in damascus,va and that is a beautiful place to explore, but what's more interesting is digging through the people. There were so many different "types" of people all with fascinating stories. I adore cities also, back alleys and finding those amazing restraunts that no one else realize is there, or the authentic belly dance shop that draws you in (or whatever your passions may be at the time). I find it's a lot like antiquing, when you find something that looks like junk but inside is marvelous (I greatly enjoy going to garage sales like that too).

:-)

Wow, she sounds super awesome right? She really gets into it and was able to elicit a personal and emotional response. She is revealing stuff about herself that she wouldn't if she wasn't attracted and interested in meeting me. She passes the qualifying question and the only thing left to do is to put the nail in coffin and arrange the meet up.

Email Message #6: From Me

Wow, you are adventurous, I think we need to start an explorers club, what do you think? How about we make our first adventure to get some ice cream cones?

There's no need to keep the conversation now, the only goal is to get her number, real email or other contact information. Too many people get stuck in the online dating forever zone which seems to be a consistent problem. Your goal with online dating on sites like Plenty of Fish isn't to make a pen pal, it's to get dates in real life! So rather than let things fizzle in the virtual online realm, you need to move the interaction to an actual real date as soon as you've created attraction.

Email Message #7: From Jane

That would be great, you can call me this evening, here's my # (555) 555-5555

~Jane

It worked!!! Not only did it work but it was done in only 7 email messages. There you have it folks, one of my best examples/sample of successful online dating email messages from where else but the PlentyofFish dating site.

Are You Making These 10 First Date Mistakes?

Posted on April 20th, 2010 by Brad
Category: dating advice

There are many mistakes that are made on first dates…far more than I will list here. However, I will cover the 10 mistakes that I saw from others while dating online, made myself while dating or have learned about by talking with other singles about online dating. If you are struggling to find second dates I would strongly recommend seriously reviewing this list.

1. Trying to Act Like Someone Else
Many people ask: How should I act on a first date? The truth is, you should not be acting. As a shy man I read a lot of advice that said I “just needed to be out-going or confident” and some of the advice even offered ways to give this impression. It was all a big show though. This is a problem for two reasons:

• If I fail, trying to be someone else did not even help
• If I succeed, I will have done so by convincing my date that I am someone that I am really not.

I discovered I could still be myself and as long as I was comfortable I still had great success. I realized that the advice that said I could not be myself was wrong. That said, shyness is only one area where we convince ourselves that being who we are is going to hurt our chances. It is true: it can hurt our chances…but only with the wrong people. There is nothing better than having success being yourself and when that happened for me I was so happy I was honest with myself and the women I met.

2. Believing That You Do Not Need to Prepare
The great thing about online dating is you have information that would normally be unavailable. Your date will reveal items through their profile and emails that you need to take advantage of. Many singles dating online believe that when they find that fairy tale connection, the conversation will naturally flow. They rely on the hope of chemistry to lead to a great first date. In my opinion this is a mistake. If there is chemistry, your knowledge and preparation will only help your chances on the first date. If there is no immediate chemistry you will be in the best position to ensure the conversations that night still goes well (and not every successful relationship has chemistry in the beginning!)
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Why Seduction Advice Doesn’t Work

Seduction For Three Easy Payments of $19.99…
For the single man, there are countless sites devoted to the topic of “seduction”. I need to let you in on a secret about these sites: most of the articles written on the subject would be better named How to Make Money Off of Lonely Men. There is truth in this statement, trust me. Advice on seduction rarely has the goal of bring a man success; it is about bringing the author of the advice money.

Interesting Online Dating Statistics

Posted on April 16th, 2010 by Brad
Category: online dating news

Do you like statistics? Do you date online? Well then you’ll love this infographic. Some of the statistics here are very interesting, some are encouraging and others are just plain scary.
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